Has having herpes negatively affected your sex life? from Anonymous
In a short answer ‘No’ in a long answer ‘Not really?’
Each person’s relationship with themselves, with sex, with current and future partners will be unique. A better question is, does HSV have to negatively affect your
sexlife? Nope, not one bit, but negativity is relative.
Do I have to self care more and be aware of stress? Yes.
Do I have to have a conversation with my partners that may result in us not being sexually involved? Yes (but it hasn’t happened to date!)
Do I get hurt over people shaming HSV casually as if they or 10 of their friends don’t have some form of it? Yep, frequently.
But, more importantly-
Am I better able to advocate for myself sexually now?
Am I better informed about my body, health and safety?
Am I learning the importance of intimacy and putting myself first?
Am I seeking out healthy, emotionally fulfilling romantic and non romantic relationships?
Am I living in the moment more and worrying about other people’s judgements less?
Am I more in tune with my body?
Yes, yes and fuck yes.
So, in short, Yes Hsv has changed me, but mostly it’s increased my own awareness and I can’t say that that’s negative.
Oh my god yes: “it’s increased my own awareness and I can’t say that that’s negative”
It’s also been interesting to see how having herpes has made me staunchly devoted to keeping my self-esteem as intact as possible, while allowing myself to slip sometimes and being okay with that. Most of the time, any kind of negative thought about having herpes/about myself that tries to inch into my mind is immediately stopped with positive thoughts/what I think is the truth. It’s been such a struggle to get to this point, but I’m glad I’m there/getting there.
It always breaks my heart when I get messages from the newly diagnosed. In some ways getting herpes was the best thing that ever happened to me. Herpes is what made me get into sex education. I have a great sex life, I am more empowered to make safer sex decisions, and my romantic life couldn’t be better as I’m getting married. Herpes won’t ruin your life, it can be very difficult, but you can get through it.